Well, the new blog is up and running!
Its not without a few kinks that need working out, but I invite you to come check it out anyways!
Here is the link - The Luckiest {unlucky} Girl
Hope to "see" you all there! :)
Friday, February 10, 2012
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Update: New Phase
I had my last post-surgery doctor appointment on Friday - sorry its taken me so long to write a real update! But it went well and I'm so grateful for the amazing Dr. R! (If anyone in the area ever needs to know his real name, please don't hesitate to ask me!)
As we were told right after my surgery, there is "no evidence of disease" left in my body! So, I'm technically considered "in remission" although that term isn't really used for this type of cancer I think. I'll be followed closely for the next five years to make sure I stay cancer free.
As we were told right after my surgery, there is "no evidence of disease" left in my body! So, I'm technically considered "in remission" although that term isn't really used for this type of cancer I think. I'll be followed closely for the next five years to make sure I stay cancer free.
Best news from yesterday? There is only a 5-10% chance of reoccurance! I like those odds!
Speaking of "odds", a friend I just talked to on the phone reminded me of some other statistics that I just read the other day. I avoided most web research and definitely kept away from statistics because they were just too frightening. But now that I know more about my cancer specifically, these statistics actually moved me to tears.
- Less than 5% of women diagnosed with Ovarian cancer are under age 35, the average age is 63.
- The chance of being diagnosed in an early stage (1 or 2) of Ovarian cancer is only 30%.
- Less than 15% of women are diagnosed in Stage 1 (my stage).
So, for now I hope to go back to my relatively "normal" life. Although it certainly will be a "new normal" after this experience. So many things have been put into perspective for me in the last three months. I do ask for your prayers as I figure out how to move forward into this new phase of life.
I will be keeping this blog as my professional blog. But I also will be opening up my "personal" blog to those of you here that would like to follow it. I am just in a very introspective stage of my life right now, with not much to say about work. I'm sure I will come back to this blog as a place to sort out my thoughts and feelings about social work matters. But so many of you have supported me through so much, I just can't see keeping you all out of the next stage of my life. So, look for a link here in the upcoming days.
Thank you all once again for supporting and praying for me. I feel very undeserving of such a positive outcome and know that there are many out there who have it much worse than me. Thank you all for helping me through the last three months.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Update: Spreading the News
I'm sorry that you all are the last to know!
But I just was released from
the hospital last night and have been conserving my energy since I don't have
much of it yet.
But I did want you all to be able to celebrate the joyous news that I was
given just five days ago!
The surgery was a complete success in more ways than one.
They removed my omentum and multiple lymph nodes plus did biopsies of
many areas inside my abdomen and
NO CANCER WAS FOUND!
And yesterday we received the final confirmation from
the second set of pathology reports done on all the tissue samples -
No Chemo will be necessary!!
I can say with all honesty that this was not the outcome I expected. It was certainly the one I hoped for and the one I asked all of you to pray for - but it isn't what I expected.
I had already done my bargaining with God,
NO CANCER WAS FOUND!
And yesterday we received the final confirmation from
the second set of pathology reports done on all the tissue samples -
No Chemo will be necessary!!
I can say with all honesty that this was not the outcome I expected. It was certainly the one I hoped for and the one I asked all of you to pray for - but it isn't what I expected.
I had already done my bargaining with God,
reasoning out which parts of this I would rather experience
since I didn't think it was fair to expect that
I wouldn't have to endure any of it.
But God has always been full of miraculous surprises.
But God has always been full of miraculous surprises.
A little over fifty days ago I was told that I had cancer -
stage 3 was alluded to briefly.
I was told that I would never be able to get pregnant -
that a full hysterectomy would be inevitable.
And I was told that I would certainly need chemo -
they were even willing to start it prior to the staging surgery.
Today, none of that appears true.
While I haven't had a long discussion with my oncologist, I believe my cancer will still be classified as Stage 1. It has not spread to any other part of my body from all the tests they have run. I have no reason to think I won't someday get to experience pregnancy - plus, I don't have to worry about menopause at 30 either. And lastly, chemo is not needed - no losing my hair, being sick, or worrying about missing work.
I am still not sure how to process all of this.
All that I know is that God has granted many many prayers. And that I am so very very thankful. I know that God did not make this decision because I had so many people praying for me. I don't believe God makes those decisions based on who has the biggest prayer chain. I do not feel that I "deserved" this outcome -
Today, none of that appears true.
While I haven't had a long discussion with my oncologist, I believe my cancer will still be classified as Stage 1. It has not spread to any other part of my body from all the tests they have run. I have no reason to think I won't someday get to experience pregnancy - plus, I don't have to worry about menopause at 30 either. And lastly, chemo is not needed - no losing my hair, being sick, or worrying about missing work.
I am still not sure how to process all of this.
All that I know is that God has granted many many prayers. And that I am so very very thankful. I know that God did not make this decision because I had so many people praying for me. I don't believe God makes those decisions based on who has the biggest prayer chain. I do not feel that I "deserved" this outcome -
it is purely God's grace in action.
But I do believe that God has used this ordeal to promote His plan, to reveal certain truths to me and maybe even to some of you. I thank you all from the very bottom of my heart for pleading with Him on my behalf. I do believe that this entire ordeal would have been much more difficult if I had not had each and every one of you supporting me.
I hope that some of you will see the ways that God used this to grow your own faith in His goodness and mercy. I certainly have had my eyes opened through all of this - and I believe I will continue to have some of the reasons revealed to me.
I will continue to keep you all updated on my recovery and on any further doctor appointments. I will see my oncologist in about a week to have my staples removed and to discuss follow up monitoring.
So, for now I just request your prayers for only one thing:
THANKSGIVING!
I can not thank God enough for seeing me through this and bringing me to the other side with such a miracle!
But I do believe that God has used this ordeal to promote His plan, to reveal certain truths to me and maybe even to some of you. I thank you all from the very bottom of my heart for pleading with Him on my behalf. I do believe that this entire ordeal would have been much more difficult if I had not had each and every one of you supporting me.
I hope that some of you will see the ways that God used this to grow your own faith in His goodness and mercy. I certainly have had my eyes opened through all of this - and I believe I will continue to have some of the reasons revealed to me.
I will continue to keep you all updated on my recovery and on any further doctor appointments. I will see my oncologist in about a week to have my staples removed and to discuss follow up monitoring.
So, for now I just request your prayers for only one thing:
THANKSGIVING!
I can not thank God enough for seeing me through this and bringing me to the other side with such a miracle!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Update: Schedule change
My surgery has been pushed back a week. It will be January 3rd. I am feeling pretty good overall, physically I am pretty much back to normal from my first operation. Emotionally, I am feeling peaceful and hopeful - the lasting effects of a holiday spent with my family. Lots of good times and great food!
Thank you to everyone who has sent love, support, and prayers my way. I will update again just prior to surgery and then at some point afterwards so that you are all aware of what is going on over here. I can't say enough how much you all mean to me!
Thank you to everyone who has sent love, support, and prayers my way. I will update again just prior to surgery and then at some point afterwards so that you are all aware of what is going on over here. I can't say enough how much you all mean to me!
Saturday, December 3, 2011
Update - Good News!
Although I make no promises about keeping this blog updated, I will try. I know that there are many of you out there who want to offer up support and prayers - and I'm not in any position to refuse them! So, I wanted to let you all know of the good news I recieved at my most recent doctor's appointment yesterday.
This appointment was a Second Opinion appointment - I've met with Dr. R one other time and he wanted more tests before discussing treatment options. Many prayers and deep breaths have been taken for the past few weeks. But I still went into this appointment completely unsure of what to expect. It was almost an hour of waiting, which was excructiating.
But as soon as Dr. R walked into the room, I felt reassured. He pulled up his stool close to my chair and reached out to hold my hand. He looked me in the eyes and spoke quietly and calmly. My mom was on the phone and he tried to make sure she could hear all he was saying.
The cancer is currently labeled Stage 1 Ovarian caner.
He said he could not make me any promises, but said, "you may be one of the lucky ones". There will still be a second surgery, so that more difinitive staging can be done. He didn't even want to discuss chemo, because I may not even need it.
Since knowing that the cancer was gynecological in nature, I had been weighing my possible options about fertility. My first doctor has been resolute in her belief that a hysterectomy would be necessary. She did not see any way around it. Although I did breifly talk to Dr R. about my options, I want to share the decision I had made shortly before this appointment.
- If there will not be any chance that I can get pregnant - aka hysterectomy - then I do not want my eggs harvested. I have worked in foster care and adoption for many years now. I have no doubts about being able to love a child who is not biologically related to me. I always expected to adopt at some point. I am not attached to the idea of a biological child. I will have to grieve not being able to experience pregnancy, but I don't see it as the end of my hope to be a parent.
- If I may be able to experience pregnancy, but there is a chance my eggs may not survive chemotherapy - then I will further investigate having them harvested. But I didn't want to go down that road until we know whether I will have the option to use them myself.
I am at peace with this decision. I have always wanted to be a mother - but that is not the issue I need to face right now. There are many ways of being a mother. Dr. R. will decide if I ever get to be pregnant. While it will be sad if that option is difinitively taken away now, it was never guaranteed to me anyways. Whether or not I ever to get to be pregnant was and will always be in God's hands - hysterectomy or not.
But I do have every confidence that Dr. R will make that choice wisely based on what he can actually see - not just what the other doctors assumed. I have every hope that I will come out of my next surgery with that option. And I have faith that God is in control either way.
Dr. R said that if, during the staging surgery, cancer is found on my ovary they would not be able to harvest any eggs from it. But he also said that he didn't even want me to think about that, because "if there is no cancer, then you'll get to use them yourself". (Said very positively!) So, thankfully my decision and reality are right on target. Praise God!
All in all, this appointment was very positive and I have a lot of hope and peace about what is to come.
So, here is where we stand now:
1. Staging surgery is scheduled for late December.
2. *IF* I have to have chemo, it will not start for 4-6 weeks afterwards (mid Feb).
3. In the next few weeks I get to have every kind of test and scan in the book - EKG, blood work, another CAT, and get medically cleared for surgery.
4. I still get to go back to work on Monday!
I can not tell you all how much I appreciate and believe your prayers have helped me. I know that not everyone in my position has the kind of support that I have gotten over the last three weeks - I don't take a single email, text, Facebook message, meal or visit for granted. I ask you all to keep praying and I will try to keep updating to give you specific requests as this process goes along.
Specific Prayer Request for 12/2/11:
1. Thanks and Praise to God for a positive doctor appointment and reassuring news! For today, that is all I want to focus on!
This appointment was a Second Opinion appointment - I've met with Dr. R one other time and he wanted more tests before discussing treatment options. Many prayers and deep breaths have been taken for the past few weeks. But I still went into this appointment completely unsure of what to expect. It was almost an hour of waiting, which was excructiating.
But as soon as Dr. R walked into the room, I felt reassured. He pulled up his stool close to my chair and reached out to hold my hand. He looked me in the eyes and spoke quietly and calmly. My mom was on the phone and he tried to make sure she could hear all he was saying.
The cancer is currently labeled Stage 1 Ovarian caner.
He said he could not make me any promises, but said, "you may be one of the lucky ones". There will still be a second surgery, so that more difinitive staging can be done. He didn't even want to discuss chemo, because I may not even need it.
Since knowing that the cancer was gynecological in nature, I had been weighing my possible options about fertility. My first doctor has been resolute in her belief that a hysterectomy would be necessary. She did not see any way around it. Although I did breifly talk to Dr R. about my options, I want to share the decision I had made shortly before this appointment.
- If there will not be any chance that I can get pregnant - aka hysterectomy - then I do not want my eggs harvested. I have worked in foster care and adoption for many years now. I have no doubts about being able to love a child who is not biologically related to me. I always expected to adopt at some point. I am not attached to the idea of a biological child. I will have to grieve not being able to experience pregnancy, but I don't see it as the end of my hope to be a parent.
- If I may be able to experience pregnancy, but there is a chance my eggs may not survive chemotherapy - then I will further investigate having them harvested. But I didn't want to go down that road until we know whether I will have the option to use them myself.
I am at peace with this decision. I have always wanted to be a mother - but that is not the issue I need to face right now. There are many ways of being a mother. Dr. R. will decide if I ever get to be pregnant. While it will be sad if that option is difinitively taken away now, it was never guaranteed to me anyways. Whether or not I ever to get to be pregnant was and will always be in God's hands - hysterectomy or not.
But I do have every confidence that Dr. R will make that choice wisely based on what he can actually see - not just what the other doctors assumed. I have every hope that I will come out of my next surgery with that option. And I have faith that God is in control either way.
Dr. R said that if, during the staging surgery, cancer is found on my ovary they would not be able to harvest any eggs from it. But he also said that he didn't even want me to think about that, because "if there is no cancer, then you'll get to use them yourself". (Said very positively!) So, thankfully my decision and reality are right on target. Praise God!
All in all, this appointment was very positive and I have a lot of hope and peace about what is to come.
So, here is where we stand now:
1. Staging surgery is scheduled for late December.
2. *IF* I have to have chemo, it will not start for 4-6 weeks afterwards (mid Feb).
3. In the next few weeks I get to have every kind of test and scan in the book - EKG, blood work, another CAT, and get medically cleared for surgery.
4. I still get to go back to work on Monday!
I can not tell you all how much I appreciate and believe your prayers have helped me. I know that not everyone in my position has the kind of support that I have gotten over the last three weeks - I don't take a single email, text, Facebook message, meal or visit for granted. I ask you all to keep praying and I will try to keep updating to give you specific requests as this process goes along.
Specific Prayer Request for 12/2/11:
1. Thanks and Praise to God for a positive doctor appointment and reassuring news! For today, that is all I want to focus on!
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