To make up for my last ranting post (see: How does it come to this?) I wanted to tell you briefly about Savannah. I just saw Savannah in my office not two seconds ago. Savannah is 5, her brothers Colt(6) and Carter(8) also come to see me. I see or talk to someone in this family almost daily. They could be absolutely exhausting - if their Mother wasn't working so damn hard to help her kids.
Thats not to say she's great at it - mostly days she hovers around minimal in her parenting skills. She is not abusive but she is incredibly passive - not just with the kids, but with everyone in her life. This has led to her children being hurt in a multidude of ways. Right now she's in the worst mess of a family/living situation I've ever heard of - the very definition of 'Catch 22'. I won't go into details - just know its pretty much lose/lose. But never the less, she is trying her hardest to keep the kids from suffering anymore. She has cried in my office more times than I can count.
But she brings all three kids in once a week for family therapy/parent coaching to help them work on their issues as a family and for her to grown more secure in her role as the parent. She brings Carter in every week for an individual session and the younger two alternate weeks for individual therapy. She attended my parenting support classes for 14 weeks straight - twice. And calls me at least one other time a week. She has made plenty of mistakes in her life - mistakes that have cost her and her children dearly. But she's trying - and she never quits.
Back to Savannah though - I just need to describe her to you. She is about 3 1/2 feet tall and built like a tank. (I think God knew he'd have to make her sturdy to stand up to her brothers!) She's hilariously fiesty - always on the go and with some crazy story to tell me. But more importantly - she has this awesome choppy-layered hair. (The cut is due in large part to the fact that she did some of it herself.) And, on one side of her head she had a purple colored highligh streak and on the other side she has a pink highlighted streak. Not just the temporary-do-it-yourself or spray-in kind. Nope - her mom takes her every 3 months and pays $10 to let the lady at the beauty salon put pink and purple streaks in her 5 year old's hair. Why?
"Because I can't afford to get my hair done - but for months all Savy talked about was having pink and purple hair. So when we went in to get her hair cut one time - the hairdresser said she could give her pink and purple hair! If I can't do things for myself - I at least want to be able to do things for my kids."
Sure, its just a little thing, and I am sure some of you will think she's crazy to let her daughter have pink and purple hair. But as I watched Savannah bounce around my office, looking like a cross between Miley Cyrus and a Pretty Pretty Princes - telling me about Mom and Grandma's last fight - I think if having pink and purple hair makes Savannah's life just a little bit brighter, Go for it. And, its darn cute. :)